Dear Retail Establishments,
I would like to take this opportunity to discuss watch batteries. Used to be, your battery died, you took your watch to a store, and they changed the battery. Simple. Easy. Done. NOT ANYMORE.
It started a while ago. A couple years ago, I took my dead watch to Walmart where I was informed that they no longer changed batteries for watches I didn’t purchase there. (P.S. The old ladies at Walmart were not very nice about this whole proposition.) Um…okay. Well, I bought my watch at Disney World, and they don’t have batteries…so…. In the end, I went to Sears.
Last time I needed a battery, I went to JCPenney. Took in three dead watches, walked out with three ticking watches. No problem. That brings me to today.
Today, I went to JCPenney with three dead watches. I was informed that they couldn’t change the battery. Apparently, they’ve been sending people to an actual jeweler…who is also turning people away. The nice lady told me how upset I’d be if they opened up the watch and couldn’t get it back together…because then it would be useless. I explained that, with a dead battery, it was useless NOW…so I wouldn’t be that upset.
Finally, I asked to just have the bloody tool so I could do it myself. The lady seemed somewhat dubious as to my endeavor…and a little surprised when I opened up all three watches…they gave me batteries (well, they HANDED me batteries…I still had to pay for them)…I put them in and closed up the watches. (Lady, I don’t need YOU…I need the necessary hardware. Clearly, you have underestimated me.)
So I guess what I really want to know is: Who the heck walked into a store with a dead, useless watch….and when someone made a mistake, and rendered an already useless watch…well….useless….got all angry. Whomever this person is has RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE and should be put in stocks downtown so we can throw rotten fruit at them.
And so, my dear Retail Establishments, perhaps you can have a waiver. Something for me to sign saying that my watch is useless, but if you’re willing to try and fix it…I won’t get angry if you mess up and make it “useless.” Especially since, if you DON’T fix it, it’s useless anyway.